11.4.12

The lost poem

This one has been lost for quite some time. I found it again recently and thought I would share and record it here so it can't be lost again. As far as I can remember it doesn't have a name.



The house was slowly imploding.
I swear the glass would have returned
to sand
if only it knew how.

The garden however was an
adventurous thing.
It was growing and stretching
green fingers
towards
the rest of the world.

The roses bloomed in the chaos.
With no one to watch over them
they blossomed bright yellow.

You stopped by the house.
Stretching your long arms
over the
fence
and breaking one bright bloom.

You held it out to me.
One huge yellow bud with
delicate
thorns and tiny green leaves.

I still have the rose.
Wrapped in white paper printed
with your
name in bright blue ink.

It sits in a wooden box.
Once my mother's jewellery box.
Now my private memory case.

The house is still imploding.
Ever so slowly it heads towards
destruction.
Sinking further and further into itself.

The roses still bloom.
Bright yellow against the
grey
and brown of rot and decay.

I think of you when I see the
house.
When the roses sway in the
summer breeze.

I miss your face.

2.7.10

Remembered dream

Mid morning at my desk I remembered my dream.
I face I've not seen in so long.
Incandescent joy.

The building was dark but the embrace was
strong.
Smiles and words and easy
air.

Mid morning at my desk I smiled.

I thought of yellow roses,
red earrings
and coffee with the ducks.

It's strange how dreams seem real.
I could have seen you,
could have held you.

Mid morning at my desk I knew you were alive.

22.3.06

Hard

Blue beauty looked stunning.
Lost and always delicate.
A kiss of light and I'm hooked.

A sleeping hesitation means mouth to mouth,
and still some people lose contact.
Soft eyes always haunt my touch,
and love dreams of dark and beautiful shapes.

I'm scared to feel your whiskey red kiss,
and your fingers over my skin are unbearable.
My heart still longs for your skin.
But it's purely hardness behind your face.

Look with your eyes closed

Silence is further from the truth,
but we think it’s the solution.
Its just genuine emptiness driving despair.
In velvet darkness under the surface, it is easier to see.
The image alone is all that matters.

We’re terrified without love,
yet we smile when alone.
A child heads knowing into bright purple fear.
Silver fluid skin cracks when we’re tired enough to run away.

Layers of alcohol and blood leave scars even eternity cannot tear away.
Red windows on the outside are black holes on the inside
pouring life from your heart.
Sanity half fills our needs and leaves us unsatisfied.

Someone forever prays for the end,
when love blisters everyone who asks.
Reach out because you lived.
Pray enough to be given the universe.
Life at least saves those who want.

Understanding blue demands

Blue insides first touch what I want.
Somehow we both knew it was time for
greyer moments.
Scary how trouble can’t stop.

Normal today, then unbelievable Blue.
Silence lashes with such a hard kiss.
The first touch just said time.
A different way to pin bad ways to the wall.

Those smiling mouths that are still wrong.
White all over but wicked when unreal.
I wondered then when want became get.
Black eyes would want your kisses exchanged.

It seems I’m trying not to make more trouble,
but it’s going to happen anyway.
One look says it all.
Blue eyes again want more.

The places that were ours

Twenty one relationships spent alone
means you never really get involved.
Consider them journeys that never happened.
I always wondered what a real relationship
felt like.

As children we know nothing of the years that fuck you up.
I loved just enough he said.
Blood was experienced but nothing seemed bad.
Hardly proper we both knew,
apparently worth while.

A record three have never been screwed at all.
I looked after his tears and serious smile.
An engagement with shit and I didn’t even know it.

It wasn’t planned all those pretty arduous years ago.
I didn’t know we’d go through
so much.

If we ever had something together
then leave it in
the past.
I ran around after thought,
no relationship does that.

The places that were ours show no marks.

Take what you can get

A temporary distraction only one step up from opportunity.
Love designed for fun becomes something true.
Enjoy life, make guilt fun.

A romantic conclusion triggers red lies.
The scarlet lipstick outlook we should feel.
Never forget we are animals who share a few moments.

Forget the rare, just look for your moneys worth.
Revel in the fact that it’s painful because it’s good.
Only civilise yourself for someone worth taking.

The mistress of a kind world can’t have enough
roses.
Strangers should steal kisses and emotions.
Wanting happiness,
wanting to lose chemical unbalance.

Blue serotonin is raising my levels,
being every bit involved.
The pleasant feeling is no longer enough.

But getting even never stops,
and I am happy to drown myself.
You shouldn’t start thinking of regarding my figure.

Just grab any life.
Help give at least.

Memory

Memories of eyelashes break when
tasted.
The best possible day is an
accidental wish.
I've written much, acted more and kissed the sea.

I longed to be bruised by yellow roses.

A broken romantic destroyed by passion
quotes from red memory.
By morning the
velvet
coffee
colour
is remembered
as touched by hard, pale life.

The river of memory marked white
skin
leaving a plague of disappeared
sleep.
I couldn't approve of stealing kisses.

Smoked maple, like most, always remains.

Is there any point in faith

Is there any point in faith,
When every day we bleed for the truth?
When asked if you feel completed,
Do you hear the lies you tell?

Through injustice we become strong.
We search ourselves, yet rely on another.
We are looking to be saved.
But we want to destruct.

We're incapable of the truth, yet we long for it.
We rage against fate, yet were helpless to change it.
We're scared to fail, yet we hope for it.
We feel human, but we long to be gods.

We scream at the sky, crying out for help.
We long to feel safe.
Children know nothing of the pain to come.
The inevitable end of it all.

We will fear nothing.
Safe in the arms of the oceans of time.
We have made our stand against the world.
Self disappears inside.

We crucify humans to cleanse our fears.
Rivers of red flow to absolve.
Scarred skin carved to absolve.
A mistake in blood to pray for life.

Fast word mouth

Fast word mouth could
touch my joy.
Cold life believes
soft passion
is choice.
They guarentee deep need
inside life mind.
Walk apart
always
but restrain the
fall.

Excerpt from the red life

Wearing red river ice
he called just once.
Water thinking past thoughts.

Early night saw pretty propriety looking
sure.
Light watched, blushed, strained towards
spare time.
Clean inside, black after one short scratch.

Passionate water picked a rose,
gave it away
and kissed yellow velvet.

His cherry renaissance wore my senses
into colours,
painted salt bites,
quoted morning wine.

He pierced further than just looking.

I drank reds,
the streets were cherry pale,
I stood in red sunshine.

If I had loved before it was gone.

Digging deep

Something like skin breaking until you find
yourself.
What are the rules of consensual rape?
Beautiful edges
I can’t explain why.

Lock sight with desire and smile with my wavelength.
I’m not sure how to deal with the
red stars
he makes on my smooth skin.
I see visions and I understand.

Call it a bad case of reality.

Black and blue eyes want to see forever,
staring back,
knowing the creature is near.

Touch fuelled by want holds thought tight.
I’m not sure
if it’s realistic
to come back
around.

Desperate red waiting

Direction without sure understanding.
A reminder of bad hope.
Beautiful, blue, lonely eyes
could seem devastated.
But grey love feels relieved.

Children would chance it alone
without ever settling for something lost
instead.
No melancholy child wants dark days.
Pregnant, I wake lost without sight.

I realise blood upsets anything.
Something other than red should seek
out one high being.
No flowing would feel right,
just down instead.

Untitled

It’s a raft the fairy used to latch onto
the stars.
Everyone shared with anyone they can.
A gold silk mess hangs from my windowpane,
attached with purple cotton.

I open the window and turn around.
This is a different affair.
The one I liked came then.
Surrounded my head inside and out,
covered me with pink and white.
There’s a room with one occupant
and that is them.

With mahogany fidgets I land
at the window.
Soft,
and
purple,
I pine.

Coloured chiffon dream

I toss my coloured chiffon dream to the stars.
Silver catchers hang from my bedside and worry.
Stars could one moment watch me dangle,
at last,
wrapped in perfect little flowers.
The jewellery of broken sleep.

It is so crowded under the ocean.
Stuck with
people and perils.

There is a ripped and magnetic place made of
my dream.
The other space, my amethyst scare.

Drowned velvet wings that turn into coloured stars,
anytime,
anywhere.

I was stuck in a random pink calm.
Things break under foot.
There are stars left,
lost.

I didn’t always glow.

Chase after the lie

With opened eyes we plead with the nightmares,
and faith abuses our passion for love.
Our pact with worthlessness cherished at heart.


Someone needed red embrace
and soft back petals closed instead.
Accept that pain lied, forgive blue love.

Saddened eyes open on truth.
The heartbroken faithful respond in white
and roses remain, grow old, die.

Compassion lost in pink dark.
You spoke of the inability to trust in flaws.
Deep inside yourself it's clear why.

Chase after the lie, make it whole
.

Bell Tower

In the bell tower's
light
I see a woman.
She looks down at us but
feels
she is looking up.

In blue glow she is
lit
but we still cannot
see
her face.

Through the bars our
view is obscured
yet
we know the lines of
her face
well.

They lie within us all.

In the stone of our
flesh
we see her
written.

We see ourselves.

An Old Feeling

Wandering through a world unsure,
while being white and ripped apart.
Scream like everyone shouldn’t feel.

I must cope with being white.
Bright black before new torn life.
Become dazzling inside between me and now.

Always scary back from moments away with
shades.
I’ve been red girl, but now purple woman.
Sure.
Right.

Going ahead with what I don’t have.
Confusing old feelings that can’t come home.
I want strange new help.

And not have one from all.